Who's afraid of Diagnosis?

Cultural differences shape how we interpret children’s behaviour and how we respond to challenges. In some cultures, emotional therapy is widely recognised as a healthy and important way to cope with life’s difficulties. There is no shame in seeking support, and many parents rely on diagnoses to better understand and meet their child’s needs.

Elsewhere, even in advanced societies, therapy is still in its infancy, often treated as a secret, sometimes even as a source of shame.

I meet many children who, although I am not a diagnostician or psychiatrist, show behavioural patterns that align with autism spectrum, ADHD, and other forms of neurodiversity. These children are longing for understanding and support that could make such a difference. Many parents, though, worry that a diagnosis might place a label on their child and add to the challenges he already faces.

But what if the opposite is true?

Imagine a child who cannot concentrate in his class, constantly fidgeting in his chair, bored and just waiting to get home to play on the computer. The teacher talks about his potential and how unfortunate it is that he doesn’t apply himself. And the child? He feels lost. His self‑worth crumbles, his confidence drops, because he cannot bring himself to learn. He thinks something is wrong with him.

Schools, as they are structured today, do not encourage or nurture differences. A teacher with 30–35 (or even more) pupils cannot truly cultivate each child’s uniqueness. This is where diagnosis can help- by offering tools, guidance, and pathways for parents to support their child’s individuality. At the same time, we cannot place the entire responsibility on schools. They do their best within the limits of large classrooms and limited resources, but it is up to us as parents to recognise our child’s needs, to advocate for them, and to provide the understanding and support that will help them flourish.

So, what is a diagnosis, really? It is a system of assessments designed to identify the unique way your child’s brain works. The child is not “less than” others, and nothing is “wrong” with him. Sometimes, children with neurodiversity are gifted, problem‑solvers and capable of extraordinary creativity.

Even more than that- many children, when finally given a diagnosis, feel an immense sense of relief. Suddenly, their difficult feelings are acknowledged. They begin to understand why certain areas have been so challenging. For parents, too, the experience can feel like puzzle pieces finally fitting together, bringing clarity and making so many things easier to comprehend.

Another important point is that highly intelligent children can sometimes struggle even more. The gap between their remarkable thinking and their everyday practical skills may create frustration, heighten anxiety, and erode their self‑confidence. Our role is not to “fix” them, but to guide them with understanding, offering encouragement, tools, and support so they can grow into their potential and fulfil their unique purpose.